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Joke of the Day

"When someone invites me to their house and I see more than 2 cars parked outside it I keep driving just in case it's an intervention for me"

"spot whats sandpaper like? dog: ruff whats the long grass on a golf course called? d: ruff whats the job market like? d: steadily improving"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Well I guess none; they just put the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them."

"Tickets for the wheelchair races are selling out...seats are going fast!"

"A woman is like a fine wine: they are 70% water"

"What do you call an Asian woman with a leg shorter than the other? Irene"

"This entire pizza told me thigh gaps are for queers."

"""LET MY PEEPHOLE GO!"" -Moses when the cops found the peephole he installed in the Womens washroom."

"I wanted to be a standup comedian.. they asked me to sit down."

"What concert costs 45 cents? 50 cent featuring nickelback"