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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a woman that is beautiful and smart? An actress."
Next Joke
"If someone asks if you've been crying just say, ""why... do you want to watch?"" and it will weird them out enough to leave you alone"
"""14 years, 20 billion later and my team have finally finished building a Large Hadron Kaleidoscope."" ""You mean Collider?"" ""Oh shit!"""
"Classic Why'd the mushroom go to the party? Cause he's a fungi! Why'd the fungi leave the party? Cause there wasn't mushroom!"
"I used to be an Uncle like you... ...Until I took an arrow to the niece."
"Police: How did they break in? Me: I have a fake garden rock w/a key inside. Police: They found it? Me: They threw it through the window."
"What's the difference between Heath Ledger and Heath Ledger jokes? Heath Ledger jokes can get old...."
"I can't believe I have to recharge my stupid phone every night or it shuts down *sleeps for 8 hours every night*"
"I'm afraid my dog is an alcoholic. She just can't seem to hold her licker."
"""Excellent choice, sir. And what temperature would you like me to microwave your steak to?"" - The Honest Applebees Server"