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Joke of the Day

"""14 years, 20 billion later and my team have finally finished building a Large Hadron Kaleidoscope."" ""You mean Collider?"" ""Oh shit!"""

"Sorry if you don't like my Honesty. But to be fair I don't like your f*cking Lies"

"In 1828 Franz Schubert was buried next to Beethoven... They wanted to decompose together."

"I'm worried that I'm gonna get a super judgey coroner."

"All of the firefighters at my station are quick. They're even ""fast"" asleep!"

"Boy to his Girlfriend: Can you tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time.... Girl: You have the largest penis among your friends."

"I paid My 11 old $10 to do the dishes, so on her way to the bathroom I mugged her...because, you know, life lesson."

"I met my wife in an African Languages class We just clicked"

"My friend told me how electricity is measured and I was like Watt"

"Coffee is the silent victim in our house. It gets mugged everyday"