119035

Joke of the Day

"Flying around shitting on cars. Rock on, birds. Livin' the dream!"

"You know, a cemetery isn't such a bad place. People are just dying to get in there"

"If your cat is your ""child,"" I bet its ""grandparents"" are ""sad"""

"Did you hear about the unreleased Western starring Bruce Lee? He played Squint Eastwood."

"I turned my phone onto ""Airplane Mode"" and threw it into the air. Worst. Transformer. Ever."

"What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? Walking. JK ROLLING"

"If I'm on a sneezing fit it's best to let me go, because by the 4th time you say ""God bless you,"" I'm ready for you to be out of my life."

"Why do Feminists Like to have Sex with the Lights Off? They can't stand to see a man have a good time."

"How was Rome split in half? With a pair of Caesars..."

"Want to hear something clean? I took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear something dirty? Bubbles is my neighbor."