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Joke of the Day

"I turned my phone onto ""Airplane Mode"" and threw it into the air. Worst. Transformer. Ever."

"""It's not you, it's me."" -Twins looking at some family photos"

"Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer? Because you said it was pound cake!"

"I think the republican party is correct on a few key issues like..."

"An inmate from a mental asylum escaped and started raping people. The next day headlines read : Nut bolts and screws."

"Did you hear about the new Italian tires? Dago here, dago there, and when dago flat, dago wop wop wop."

"[job interview] Interviewer: ""Do you have any questions for me?"" Me: ""How strong is the wifi signal in the restroom?"" Interviewer:"

"How do you make a prepubescent laugh? Heh, pubes."

"What did Mr. Burns bring to the pot luck? Egg_salad"

"Anonymous now declared war on ISIS... It's now a hacking contest."