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Joke of the Day

"[laying in bed] wife: Did you remember to find a stud before you hung the TV up? me: Yes *sound of TV crashing to the floor* me: No"

"Life is like a box of chocolates The fatter you are the shorter it lasts"

"What's worse than spiders on your piano? Crabs on your organ"

"Your mother is so big that... ...when she is in a plane it makes a solar eclipse."

"I tired playing soccer But I couldn't get a kick out of it."

"Why do black people only have nightmares? Because we shot the last one who had a dream."

"If you want to hunt birds at night, you should bring a Texan along. They always seem to remember the owl-ammo."

"Why do blondes like blonde jokes? It makes them feel popular."

"Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains! Well don't have a shower because you might be dry clean only."

"These riots remind me of basketball There are always people stealing, but you can't win without shooting."