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Joke of the Day

"If you want to hunt birds at night, you should bring a Texan along. They always seem to remember the owl-ammo."

"I have absolutely no idea what the phrase ""saving room for dessert"" means."

"I don't use my hands when I change my tampon. I just sing a jaunty tune and the Disney birds come in and begrudgingly do it for me."

"Crap happens Called in sick to work cause I had a stomach ache and felt constipated. Got fired. Couldn't give a crap even if I wanted to."

"I quit drinking and my beer belly is now a pot belly."

"game of thrones is such a cool show. they should make a book out of it. [props a stick under a box to capture all the nerds that respond]"

"Here's a tip for when you're feeling shit. Wear gloves"

"Free Tibet with the purchase of a Tibet of equal or lesser value."

"I really identify with the trans movement... For the first 9 months of my life, I was a man trapped in a woman's body!"

"Why were there only 3 thousand Mexicans at the Alamo They could only find three minivans"