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Joke of the Day

"Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains! Well don't have a shower because you might be dry clean only."

"What did one plumber say to the other plumber? Pipe down."

"Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil"

"It's crazy how quick women are to cut each other's throats over a guy! I mean I'd understand if it were shoes....but a guy???"

"My doctor says i have that ""Hannah Montana"" illness He said it was a Miley Virus"

"The girl across from me is on the phone to her boyfriend. I regret nodding when she told him she looked terrible."

"When people tell me ""You're gonna regret that in the morning"" I sleep in til noon, because I'm a problem Solver"

"Vegetarian: *lists 100 reasons why I shouldn't eat meat* Me: Counterpoint: bacon."

"Jimmy Savile wasn't all bad; He had a profound and lasting impact on music... Backstage at Top of the Pops, it was him who introduced Cream to Small Faces"

"horsing around I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go into the bedroom and horse around, she said nay. I guess she just wasn't in the mood."