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Joke of the Day

"Your mother is so big that... ...when she is in a plane it makes a solar eclipse."

"Had a skype interview yesterday and I completely avoided the fact that I am actually a centaur"

"How does Craig Venter drink beer? Shotgun method"

"Why shouldn't you talk to someone with a brain tumor?.... ..because they've got a lot on their mind."

"She had soft, black hair, and big, brown eyes. We went for a walk. I told her I loved her. Now she's gone. She took off after a squirrel."

"Guys with balls hangin from ur truck. that would mean ur truck is a man,yes? Which means you like to be inside a dude all day. Lol homo. : p"

"I don't think 'safe sex' sounds like a very good idea. I mean, what if you get locked in and forget the combination"

"What do you call a teacher that doesn't fart in public? A private tooter"

"It's 2035: By law, all burglar alarms are fitted with projectors so burglars are distracted by dancing Tupac holograms until police arrive."

"What do you call a fish out of water? Asians? Idk it's been a rough day."