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Joke of the Day

"When I have children I'm gonna make them watch the movie ""2012"" and tell them I survived that. #awesome"

"What's a dragon's favorite snack? A firecracker!"

"[pearly gates] st peter: welcome everybody- *i run up and slam dunk an imaginary ball thru his halo and then hang on it like it's the rim*"

"What cheese do hunters use to goad a bear out from its cave in the winter? Camenbert"

"Books vs. Mexicans Q: What do books have that Mexicans don't? A: Papers."

"I misused a comma in my last tweet and now I'm having problems with my colon. I know it has nothing to do with my period."

"Why was the NSA computer programmer late for work? Because he got Snowden"

"Why am I subscribed to r/History I just realized there never anything new there"

"A guy forgot to pay his exorcist... He got repossessed."

"So, I found three different sized socks while cleaning my room. That's odd..."