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Joke of the Day

"Which came first: the chicken or the egg? The chicken. Eggs don't come."

"FIREMAN: this blaze is out of control ME: sometimes you gotta fight fire with fire F: what? No M: *already brandishing a flamethrower*"

"Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get the Chinese Newspaper. Do you get it? . . . . . . . Me neither, I get the New York Times"

"Guy getting test results from his doctor and the doctor says ""we have some good news and some bad news"" ""The good news is, we're going to name a disease after you"""

"Dirty funny What do you get when there are two nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you get with two nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you get with two nuts on your chin? A Dick in your mouth."

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his coffee? Because his barista fucking hastes hipsters."

"How do you kill a guy with a coconut allergy? You put a bounty on his head."

"When they ask me in a job interview what my greatest weakness is, I always say that I can't open my eyes under water"

"Where do drinks go on vacation? Coaster Rica"

"What's the difference between Ann Coulter and shooting arrows at lovers? Shooting arrows at lovers is a Cupid stunt."