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Joke of the Day

"FIREMAN: this blaze is out of control ME: sometimes you gotta fight fire with fire F: what? No M: *already brandishing a flamethrower*"

"What's the difference between an entomologist and an etymologist? An etymologist knows."

"FACT: You are having a birthday because Chuck Norris decided to let you live another year!"

"*outside my house* - Don't let them know you have Clifford - Hey you must really like red your whole first floor is red, and barks? - Damn"

"When it comes to sex. No means yes. and yes? that means anal."

"How may tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh? Tentacles!"

"I was the Wikipedia of my school. People expected me to help with their homework, but completely ignored my constant requests for money."

"I only date men who have cats because they've been pre-trained to try and figure out what you want if you just stare at them long enough."

"Can you spell a pretty girl with two letters? QT (cutey)."

"Who won the animal race? The giraffe and the aardvark were running neck and neck but the aardvark won by a nose!"