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Joke of the Day

"How does Sean Connery's dog bark? Woofsh"

"how many people does it take to save the world? zero (compliments to my SO who thinks she made this up)"

"I've never had a beard before this one and I didnt like it at first. But its really growing on me."

"TEACHER: Its report card day Timmy TIMMY: I'm scared to look. TEACHER: Don't worry. It's all B's lol *opens it & gets engulfed by bees*"

"Plane crashed in graveyard Police recovered 2000 bodies."

"How did Helen Keller discover masturbation? Trying to read her own lips."

"Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night. After 3 hours of amazing sex, Paddy says ""I wonder how the girls are getting on"""

"A Jewish man was talking to a Hindu man Jew: Yeah, so in my religion we only believe in one God. Hindu: No way! Jew: Yahweh"

"Smartphone owners are the bravest. They're not afraid of anything not even death. They can walk into any running truck without giving a damn"

"I'm opening a pet grooming business. I'm calling it ""Bitch, I will cut you"""