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Joke of the Day

"how many people does it take to save the world? zero (compliments to my SO who thinks she made this up)"

"What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto."

"The only nation I will ever rule is.... Procrastination."

"An Irishman walks out of a bar... !!!"

"I remember the first time I had sex... I still have the receipt :')"

"How did you get out of Iraq? Iran"

"My housemate is going away to Oslo. He asked if I wanted to come along but I said Norway."

"Awww, look. My middle finger likes you!"

"What do you call a slutty bean? A Frijole (""free-hole""). Ba-dun-tss"

"Ever since the wife and I bought a water bed, we've drifted apart."