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Joke of the Day

"British seasons: Spring: Two months Summer: Eight minutes Autumn: Three weeks Winter: Seven years"

"A Brit, a Jew and a Canadian. So a Brit, a Jew and a Canadian are sitting in bar. The jew lifts his head from his drink and says, ""I just don't know anymore, does america got talent?"""

"A reposted joke walks into a bar... It gets downvoted into submission"

"It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Pokey, but I've turned myself around."

"Bush meets Jared one did 9-11. the other did 9-11 year olds."

"Just got a job as a scientist and I fell in love with the periodic table whilst the music was on. It was my chemical romance."

"Apparently John Cena is going to miss 6-9 months of wrestling. Now you really can't see him."

"Used to have no life. Now I have a laptop and Facebook!"

"*counting sheep before bed* *jesus walks in your room* ""I noticed there weren't any black sheep. what's up man. we gonna have a problem?"""

"Because the unspeakable can also happen to men I bought myself a rape alarm. I'll be fucked if this thing doesn't work."