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Joke of the Day

"Just got a job as a scientist and I fell in love with the periodic table whilst the music was on. It was my chemical romance."

"The best thing about owning a Smart Car is when it gets dirty, you can just put it in the dishwasher."

"I noticed that the local convent has no security around the building, so I helped myself. No fence. Nun taken."

"[JanSport keynote address] (audience grumbling) ""where is he?"" *CEO emerges from backpack on stage* *crowd goes nuts*"

"I registered as a sex offender.. ..just so I wouldn't have to wake up early to drive the kids to school."

"ID is a funny abbreviation. The I stands for I and D strands for dentification. -Norm Macdonald"

"What does the pedophile jew say to the child? ""Wanna buy some candy?"""

"H.o.m.e.w.o.r.k Half of my energy wasted on random knowledge . :)"

"Do you know about the Chinese author who wrote a million page book? It was Wei Tu Long."

"What are Mozart and Beethoven up to these days? They're both Decomposing"