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Joke of the Day

"Because the unspeakable can also happen to men I bought myself a rape alarm. I'll be fucked if this thing doesn't work."

"get away from the tree Dad: get away from that tree son! Son: why dad? Dad: it looks shady"

"My friends tell me I'm condescending Condescending is when you talk down to people"

"Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's very time-consuming."

"Why is Flint MI famous for it's sandwiches? They have the highest Pb : jelly ratio in the midwest!"

"What does PETA stand for? People Eating Tasty Animals"

"How do you get a Kansas alumni off your porch? pay him for the pizza."

"What's the difference between a truckload of sand and a truckload of babies? You can't unload sand with pitchforks."

"Why was the doctor forced to leave work early? The hospital ran all out of patience"

"""Charlie, I want a divorce."" [in a black robe sacrificing a chicken on a satanic blood alter] Why?"