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Joke of the Day

"Used to have no life. Now I have a laptop and Facebook!"

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"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper."
"Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something."
"95% of the world is retarded I'm glad I'm part of the 10%"
"What did the poplar tree say to the weeping willow? Hey pal, you just need to branch out more."
"As a Harry Potter fan, I dream of going to Hogwarts. My friend is a Narnia fan, and he's always wanted to go to Narnia. My other friend is a Hunger Games fan, but he's good."
"craigslist -> jobs -> Wanted: Pet psychic. Need proof my dog hates my fashion sense. Must be fine with nudity. This is not a sex thing."
"Shopping at Walmart to test my immune system."
"What's the difference between a lawyer and whore? The lawyer can't guarantee to get you off."
"Canada's four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction."