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Joke of the Day

"What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water? It might take a while for me to get hard, I was just laid by a chick."

"What does ""IDK"" mean? I keep asking people, but they don't know either."

"I neither like nor want to date Taylor Swift, but I know at some point it'll just be my turn."

"I used to be a taxi driver but I had to quit... I couldn't stand people talking behind my back."

"human skin boots My friend paid $4,000 for human skin boots and pants. I told him how stupid that was--he could have had the same thing in black for $29."

"*Ok, don't let them know you're a dog* Him: The job is yours. Here's the keys to your new office. [tosses keys] *catches keys in my mouth*"

"Jesus walks into a hotel. He hands the inkeeper three nails and asks... ""Can you put me up for the night?"""

"If I were a drug dealer and rapper... ...my stage name would be MC M-Prime."

"For years I've been wiping my arse with my right hand. I now realise that I should have been using toilet paper."

"How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb ? Nein."