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Joke of the Day

"For years I've been wiping my arse with my right hand. I now realise that I should have been using toilet paper."

"The main reason I tell my daughter that beauty is on the inside is because I'm in charge of her ponytail in the mornings."

"A guy walked into a bar... And said, ""Ouch!"" Sorry. It had to be done."

"Why do ants not go to church? Because their in sects"

"What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad sky diver? The bad golfer goes ::Whack:: ""Damn it!"" The bad sky diver goes ""Damn it!"" ::Whack::"

"If Bruce Jenner goes missing tonight, will they put his face on a carton of half n half?"

"What would you call your geologist friend if you are a pokemon fan? Geodude"

"How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello? ""Konnichihuahua"""

"A guy is having sex on a first date She's giving him a blow job. He tells her ""suck it harder"". So she does. Then, he yells, ""Blow, blow, the bed sheet is up my ass."""

"Q: How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two: One to hold it one to hammer it in."