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Joke of the Day

"Jesus walks into a hotel. He hands the inkeeper three nails and asks... ""Can you put me up for the night?"""

"What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide and seek champion."

"Why couldn't they save the shipwrecked hippies? They were too far out, man."

"My girlfriend thought she caught me cheating on her... I was like, ""No baby, I ain't cheating on you, that's just my wife!"""

"[at ultrasound] Nurse: there it is. There's your baby Me visibly relieved: oh Jesus thank u Wife whispering to nurse: he thought it was bees"

"If a DJ has a really good set he'll smash his MacBook at the end"

"Dr: So, how did you dislocate your shoulder? Me: I panicked when the blood pressure machine at the store got tigh- I mean football.."

"I am Harvard Law graduate and interim CEO of reddit Ellen Pao. AMA"

"I'm not saying I've let my house get filthy, but this is the second time I've caught my new Roomba trying to mail itself back to the factory"

"Why didnt Jesus become a boxer? Crosses killed him."