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Joke of the Day

"BAE: come over ME: we live together im sitting right here BAE: my parents arent home ME: what is wrong with you"

"Why did the alcoholic quit his acting career when the audience jeered at him? He couldn't handle his boos."

"If turkeys go extinct and we start eating giraffes for Thanksgiving, I got dibs on the neck."

"Look, all I'm saying is, you never see Nikki Manaj and E.T. in the same place at the same time."

"Reddit, why do people masturbate? I came here to explain."

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is heavy, and one is a little lighter."

"Some people wake up in the morning & are all like ""omg I'm the luckiest person in the world"" and I wake up all like ""oh my god"""

"What's Whitney Houston's favourite coordination? Handiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii"

"What has two wings and a halo? A Chinese man on a phone,""wing, wing, herrooo?"" God I love this joke"

"Hey ladies, tired of your man complaining about how long it takes you to get ready? Start blow drying your hair in the nude. I promise no more complaints."