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Joke of the Day

"Why did the alcoholic quit his acting career when the audience jeered at him? He couldn't handle his boos."

"Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says: ""Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"""

"I never thought I'd be drowning in a river. I think I was in the Nile"

"My buddy, David, had his ID stolen while on a business trip in Prague... ...now we just have to call him Dav."

"I was tasked with ordering coffee supplies for the office... I sent an email to all the staff asking if they wanted flavored creamers or regular creamers. Their answers were half-and-half."

"I wanted to make sure my kids were safe when they are playing outside.... So I put an ISIS flag in my window. Now my neighbors watch them 24/7."

"I would tell you a joke about UDP But you might not get it"

"*enter password* *wrong* *wrong* *wrong* *reset password* ... *new password can't be the same as old password*"

"Did you hear about the man without a penis? He came out of nowhere!"

"How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Can't be done, it's a hardware problem."