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Joke of the Day

"Hey ladies, tired of your man complaining about how long it takes you to get ready? Start blow drying your hair in the nude. I promise no more complaints."

"Why did the dog roll down the hill? It didn?t have any legs."

"Some Muslims were having an argument on my street the other day... I wanted to step in, but I was afraid it would blow up in my face."

"Your overexposure to Korean pop music last year will be nothing compared to your overexposure to Korean nuclear radiation this year."

"What would Donald Trump do to nuclear weapons? He fires them!"

"Two dinosaurs walk into a bar.. I couldn't believe it. (Got this from a comedy show)"

"The cashier at McDonald's was more than happy to warm up some Diet Coke for my baby's bottle."

"The strangest thing happened to me on the train today. Found a book titled ""How to increase your Memory Power"" left behind on a seat. Now, that's irony!"

"My Lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my Birthday. They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said ""I wanna watch."""

"I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come... Then there was awkward silence as he got dressed and left."