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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend put on a few pounds recently. That explains why I'm attracted to her more."

"Only Pools And Corpses A new sitcom starring Michael Barrymore and Demi Moore."

"Eat 70,000 small meals each day to keep your metabolism going strong."

"What do you call using Tinder while you are in the bathroom? A swipe and wipe."

"What is the difference between a girl in church and a girl in a bathtub? The girl in church has hope in her soul"

"I want to make an alligator joke... But I'm afraid I'll get carried away."

"One of the funniest vampire jokes ever! Never mind, it sucks."

"Sorry hun, but unlike you, I'm not a doorknob where everyone gets a turn. I'm more of a casino where only the lucky ones hit the jackpot."

"My mum is a midwife and she always messes up jokes... Which is strange, because I thought midwives were great at delivery."

"I had a dream last night... ...that I was eating a massive marshmallow, it was huge! And then when I woke up this morning, my pillow was gone!"