58126

Joke of the Day

"My mum is a midwife and she always messes up jokes... Which is strange, because I thought midwives were great at delivery."

"All new Hell's Kitchen tonight. Going to get into the spirit by hanging out in the kitchen and scream at my wife while she cooks dinner."

"You're the shampoo in the eyes of my life."

"My friend asked ""What do blind people think about when they masturbate?"" I'd be willing to bet that it is something along the lines of ""Who the f*ck is watching me"""

"I've always identified with Professor Calamitous from Jimmy Neutron... But I never bothered to figure out why."

"Writing about 2 dinosaurs who hate crime. They make motorcycles & badges from the meteorite that killed their dino buds. Called TriceraCOPS!"

"Why did Adele cross the road? So she could say ""hello"" from the other side."

"If two Homeless people are hitting each other with a cardboard boxes... Is it a pillow fight?"

"how many kids with A.D.D does it take to screw in a light bulb? let's go ride bikes."

"Transgender people are the key, to finally finding out... ... Which is worse, manflu or childbirth?"