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Joke of the Day

"I don't get why people think the homeless are unclean... when they have the mintiest breaths I've ever smelled."

"What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite"

"Him: Let's get you out of that dress. Me: Be careful Him: Why? Me: If you tug at my Spanx hard enough, I'll pop open like a can of biscuits."

"How many black people do you need to start a riot? Negative 1."

"Why was Barbie never pregnant? Because Ken came in another box."

"How does a deaf Gynecologist communicate with his patients? He reads lips."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. I don't know what they did up there, but they came back with a daughter."

"I don't know why beer companies bother with an expiration date... it's never going to make it anywhere near that."

"A man brings some condoms to the cashier... ""I thought those were $4.99"" said the man ""35 cents for the tax"" replied the cashier ""Oh, I was wondered what kept those things on."""

"What would Vincent Van Gogh be if he was a sheep? Lamb Gogh"