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Joke of the Day

"When I was a kid I was full of piss and vinegar... Now I'm just pissin' vinegar."

"My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records... ... until the librarian kicked me out."

"The ""walk of shame"" should be going to a bar the next morning after being drunk looking for your lost debit card."

"Chuck Norris can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples."

"*juror stands up to read verdict* ""we find the defendant v handsome and think that he looks great in the grey muscle vest he wore on Monday"""

"I recently learned diarrhea is genetic... Yeah, it runs in your genes."

"Why don't gelding horses like to race? Because every time they go to the starting gate they're reminded ""They're Off!""."

"Whats the difference between a preschool and a taliban camp? I don't know man. I just fly the drones."

"Did you guys know you get a full body massage while being embalmed? I can't wait."

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter made it out of the chamber"