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Joke of the Day

"*juror stands up to read verdict* ""we find the defendant v handsome and think that he looks great in the grey muscle vest he wore on Monday"""

"My buddy's a surfer who left Egypt because his strict Christian family was always hovering over him... They were, like, hella Coptic bro."

"Why do Arabs only buy Chevy Trucks? Because they're like Iraq."

"A man died and the whole country was in mourning then it became the afternoon, followed by the evening and then the night."

"Sometimes I like to stop and fart at the jewelry counter in Macy's to remind them that there's common folk like us that shop there too."

"I just got Natalie Portman's autograph! Sure, it's on a restraining order, but still..."

"When you don't finish your sentence"

"What does PETA stand for? People Eating Tasty Animals"

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll add to the global overdepletion of the oceans. So just give him the fish."

"A man walks into a Doctor's office screaming, ""I'm a wigwam, I'm a TeePee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a TeePee!"" The Doctor Says, ""You're too Tense"""