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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter made it out of the chamber"

"*phone rings* ""Yeh hi who's this? Sure he's here hold on.. Drastic Measures! Call for u."" ""Who is it?"" ""Drastic Times"" *crowd goes wild*"

"Taken is the adult version of Finding Nemo."

"Dad cooks venison and doesn't tell the kids what it is He gives them one hint: ""It's what your mother calls me"" The boy yells: ""It's a FUCKING DICK! Don't eat it!"""

"I always have to throw out my animal crackers. They always have that label: ""Do not eat if seal is broken""."

"I thought my daughter was studying oceanography It turns out she was just a C student"

"At first I didn't like my new haircut but it slowly grew on me."

"*man invents wheel* ""How can we possibly improve this?"" *Man invents wheel of cheese* ""Nailed it!"""

"What did the hipster epidemiologist say to United States citizens at a press conference? You probably won't get it."

"What's the difference between a small child and a gorilla? People actually care if a gorilla dies."