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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a preschool and a taliban camp? I don't know man. I just fly the drones."

"I'm gonna stay a virgin my entire life I wanna set a good example for my kids!"

"I was told today that my muslim optician had passed away....Asif Eyecare."

"I was thrown out of the hospital for improper conduct with children Apparently dressing up like the grim reaper and pointing at anti-vaxxer's kids isn't okay."

"Me: I weigh 10x more than the cat and yet she trusts me completely. So sweet. You: Me: You: It's a lot more than 10x. Me: Don't ruin this."

"What did the depressed pimp want for his birthday? to be alone with his thots"

"What do you do when a Chemistry teacher dies ? Barium"

"I'm gonna make a porn of midgets working at a burger place I'll call it ""Quarter Pounder"""

"[E] open box [empty]"

"Maybe ask the judge if your sentence is in dog years or regular years and they'll prob just laugh and let you go you got tweets to write man"