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Joke of the Day
"Chuck Norris can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples."
Next Joke
"What happened to the plan of starting a book club? It got shelved."
"So a Bear Walks Into a Bar... and the bartender says, ""What'll it be?"" The bear says,"" I'll have a drink and a... bag of peanuts."" The bartender says, ""Why the big pause?"""
"Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they're fighting over the world's last Oreo."
"Reddit is about perception and perspective. But it depends how you look at it."
"Why does tigger smell? Becuase he hangs around with pooh! Had to share my 5 year olds joke.."
"Sorry I'm two hours late for work but I was trying to open a Toaster Strudel icing packet with wet hands."
"I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am. I've been single for a while and I have to say, it's going very well. Like...it's working out.I think I'm the one."
"Why is santa so jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live. Why am I so jolly? I stole his list."
"[speed dating] ME: I like your hair HER: OK ME: And your teeth are so smiley HER: You know this is a job interview, right? ME: *rings bell*"