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Joke of the Day
"superman isn't that special... anyone can stop a speeding bullet... once"
Next Joke
"Im trying to get into classical music... ...but I cant find any original recordings. All the music is performed by cover bands."
"If ever you're feeling down, and I can't be there to do it in person, just imagine me awkwardly patting your shoulder & looking at my watch."
"Why don't Syrian Refugees play baseball? because they don't know where home is"
"When is a door not a door? How the hell is ajar supposed to work with this? Adoor and ajar? 'Cuse me?"
"Where do poor people live in Italy? In the spaghetto"
"*i get home riding a pig* Wife: Hey honey, how was the ""Hog Riders"" meeting? Me: *sighs* Pointless...this one was for motorcycles too."
"*through a mouthful of Nutella* Oh, yeah, healfy eafing is sufer imfortant to me."
"October's cool because you can buy 60 Snickers, 48 beers, a hockey mask, chainsaw, 30 leaf bags and the cashier won't even acknowledge it."
"Ladies. Even the most mundane chore is better in a Princess Leia costume."