179384

Joke of the Day

"Im trying to get into classical music... ...but I cant find any original recordings. All the music is performed by cover bands."

"My friend told me he was terrified of pedophiles... I told him to grow up."

"""I caught a twenty pound salmon last week."" ""Were there any witnesses?"" ""There sure were. If there hadn't been it would have been forty pounds."""

"What did King Arthur sleep with when he was afraid of the dark? A knight light"

"Bras come in sizes A, B, C, etc. So what's the biggest bra? The Zebra."

"Roses are red, violets are blue. I am schizophrenic. I am too."

"How do you call Kanye West's pizza? Cheezy Jeezy."

"I don't know what to do when someone yells stop Is it hammer time? Is it in the name of love? Do I collaborate and listen?"

"How much is Donald Trump's life insurance? Just one pence."

"As a kid playing parent, I never accounted for the 8 hours a week I'd lose taking underwear out of inside out pants while doing laundry."