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Joke of the Day

"October's cool because you can buy 60 Snickers, 48 beers, a hockey mask, chainsaw, 30 leaf bags and the cashier won't even acknowledge it."

"Religious orders are more than just a sacrament They're a habit, too."

"I just read a book on Stockholm Syndrome. The first couple of chapters were terrible, but by the end I loved it!"

"What do men and women have in common? Both need some tissues after watching a good movie."

"I can't. I'm busy tonight. I have to do laundry and block everyone who takes their engagement photos in a barn."

"What do you call Santa living at the South Pole? A lost clause."

"How many beans are in Irish Chili? 239, because if there was 1 more it would be ""Too Farty""."

"What was Beethoven's favorite food? BA-NA-NA-NAAA!!!!! (to the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)"

"Best pun ...EVER Unfortunately I didn't go to the Gym today but the cashiers name at McDonald's was Jim .... So same thing, right??"

"Sometimes when my cat is sitting on a chair, I sneak up, shake the chair hard, yelling, ""EARTHQUAKE!"" Sadly, like many, she's not prepared"