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Joke of the Day

"Ladies. Even the most mundane chore is better in a Princess Leia costume."

"Professor Snape caught Harry in the hall after dark and out of NOWHERE Lupin pops out in the hallway to save him. COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT"

"Thongs are like barbed wire fences. They protect the property, but don't block the view."

"I will be tweeting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me."

"I can no longer slur my words when I say ""Transgender""... or else I might say ""Transjenner"""

"How do make a woman blind? Stick a car windshield in front of her face."

"Q: Did you hear Chrysler is introducing a new car to commemorate President Clinton's election? A: It's gonna be called the Dodge Drafter!"

"Dating Tips 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Please. I am 36 and live with 2 guinea pigs."

"May the bards singeth this song henceforth on the 31st of August Oh my god its a happening My balls I am a grappling A tree grown from a sapling On the day that was the fappening"

"I'm calling Facebook ""Mom"" now because all it does is tell me who from my high school is engaged and remind me about my cousins' birthdays."