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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale"

"My doctor told me to avoid unnecessary stress, so I stopped going to doctors."

"A great vocabulary is such a turn on. A guy used the word ""bifurcated"" during a meeting and I almost threw my panties at him."

"Whenever a contestant on America's Got Talent was insulted by Piers Morgan, they were judged by a jury of Piers."

"The past, present and future walked into a bar. It was tense... Then a wigwam and a tepee walked into the bar and I left quickly. Things had gotten too tense."

"I bought my friend an elephant for their room They said ""Thank you"" I said ""Don't mention it"""

"Did you hear about the hipster with heatstroke? He got it before it was cool."

"Remembering idioms is easy It's not rocket fuel"

"You'd think that with NSA reading our tweets all the time, they could star or retweet some of the good ones."

"Kinda rude the way this hedgehog is running away from me when I'm trying to stick cheese on his spikes."