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Joke of the Day

"knock knock ""Who's there?"" ""KGB."" ""KGB wh--"" [slap recipient of the joke] ""Vee vill ask za questions!"""

"So I was listening to some old-school French rap the other day I think the group was called the Oui-Tang Clan"

"""Dude, you left your virginity here"" ""Oh wait you never lost it"""

"I have really bad hay fever Which means I have an uncontrollable desire to have sex with the straw man from the wizard of Oz"

"Pro tip: if you absolutely must speak in court, do not put air quotes around ""the law"". Judges don't like it."

"Hipster sushi restaurants only serve eye rolls."

"Why did the Xbox One eat its cereal for breakfast, but not its pancakes? It had the spoon, but not the 4k."

"""To prove how much I love you I'm going to eat this entire pizza."" That's not what I - ""Please stop. Let me do this."""

"I became a vegetarian yesterday. I regret it already, I guess you can say it was a missed steak."

"Priest: Do you take this woman to be your wife? Me: ""I do"" Priest: Ok can you say it again without using finger quotes while you do it"