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Joke of the Day

"Danke for calling Germany. To order beer, press 1. To order weapons, press 2. To order philosophy, press 1 until it resembles a 2."

"The steak that I put in the Easy Bake Oven as a child is still not done"

"A frog is sitting on a lily pad in the middle of what is clearly a river. He shouts to a toad on the shore, ""Hey, look at me, I'm on a lake!"" The toad yells back, ""Naw man, you're in de-nile"""

"Just got back from Sam's Club - got a great new electric piano, 19 pack of BBQ lighters, and a impulse kayak - fuck forgot milk"

"It's 80 degrees in San Francisco today. Girls are wearing skirts so short you can almost see their dicks."

"What is this World Cup and can I drink from it?"

"What did the french bloomers say to the sexy thong? Well I've 'ad me ups n downs, but I've never been pushed to one side..."

"Why are dyslexic zombies such good plumbers? Because they're always looking for drains."

"A steak pun... ... is a rare medium well done."

"What was the cannibal's favorite part about the Vegetarian dish? The Vegetarian"