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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between myxomatosis and Hugh Hefner? Myxomatosis doesn't need Viagra to fuck bunnies."

"A journalist is interviewing a five hundred pound man with paper thin skin who is getting a full body skin transplant. The reporter asks if he is excited. He says, ""I can barely contain myself!"""

"Did you guys hear that Ellen Degeneres died? Yeah, they found her face down in Ricki Lake."

"What's brown and sticky? A stick."

"I always get told off when introducing my wife... Apparently, the label 'ex-girlfriend' is highly inappropriate."

"What is green, has four legs and if it fell out of a tree and landed on you it would kill you? A pool table!"

"With Tim Cook being gay and all... It's no wonder he likes dongles so much."

"I had a one night stand with a girl who liked having pitchers of urine dumped on her head. It was a piss poor experience"

"What part does Woody Harrelson want to be remembered for most? Harrelson's woodie."

"The thing that makes learning how to use chopsticks so difficult is that the longer you use them, the soggier your cereal gets."