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Joke of the Day

"A journalist is interviewing a five hundred pound man with paper thin skin who is getting a full body skin transplant. The reporter asks if he is excited. He says, ""I can barely contain myself!"""

Next Joke
 
"Actors retweeting compliments is the modern day version of actors murdering hookers."
"""Not again"" ~ Me, waking up every morning.."
"i NEVER VOTED FOR A PRESiDENT BECUZ iF iM GUNNA WASTE MY GAS THEN iT BETTER BE ON SOMETHiNG iMPORTANT LiKE DRiViNG TO CHiCK-FiL-A"
"""That's what"" -She"
"I was walking down the street with my wife.. And i saw my mother in law being beaten up by six men, when my wife asked ""Aren't you going to help?"" I said ""No, six should be enough."" From Les Dawson."
"I put on Shrek and fell asleep. I woke up and it was over. I ogre slept."
"Dark humor is like food Some people just don't get it"
"Knock knock! Who's there? It's me."
"what do you call a mexican without a car? carlos"