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Joke of the Day

"I always get told off when introducing my wife... Apparently, the label 'ex-girlfriend' is highly inappropriate."

"So my girlfriend throws up in the morning also her stomach is getting bigger. It's time I get it through my head.....She drinks to much.."

"Why does the Indian chief hate snow? It's White and all over his land."

"Teacher: In what part of the world are the people most ignorant ? Pupil: Hong Kong Teacher: Why do you say that ? Pupil: That's where the atlas says the population is most dense !"

"I hate when the cashier ask me "" You doing alright today "" when I'm buying a 6-pack of beer with change."

"What the difference between... a dead dog in the road and a dead Frenchman in the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog."

"Why do blondes prefer the pill instead the condom? Because it's waaay easier to swallow"

"I was in the mood for nuts this morning so I chased a squirrel for 3 miles and the little prick led me right to his stash, yum!"

"Banker: You're sure you want a reverse mortgage & get how it works? Me(imagines bank making huge unaffordable payments to me for years): Yes"

"Why does Karl Marx's toilet play music every time you flush it? Because of the violins inherent in the cistern."