115556

Joke of the Day

"love Boyfreind "" Honey, your chest is so flat, but your hole is sooo tight"" girlfreind "" Get off my back!"""

"Did you hear about the Jewish kamikaze pilot? He crashed his plane into his brother's scrap yard."

"What did the battered woman say once she finally realized she was no longer sexually attracted to her abusive husband? Beats the fuck out of me."

"The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don't have."

"And the cat's in the cradle so the baby must be at the pet groomer's, this is a terrible mix-up."

"Q. Why did the ape run around with a piece of raw meat on his head? A. He thought he was a gorilla. (griller)!"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss *I have to give credit to my buddy /u/canavo for that one!"

"Technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in."

"What does the herpetologist do when the sexual reproduction experiment is over? Turns off his monitor."

"[phone call] KIDNAPPER: We're gonna kill your wife if you don't pay ME: *making wind noises* I CAN'T HEAR YOU I'M GOING THROUGH A TUNNEL"