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Joke of the Day

"Q. Why did the ape run around with a piece of raw meat on his head? A. He thought he was a gorilla. (griller)!"

"What do wooden whales eat? A plankton."

"Confusious say ""Man who eat many prunes sit on toilet many moons."""

"They say drugs will hurt your long term memory but I kind of take pride in needing to Google the proper spelling of ""Bieber"" every damn time"

"How do you tell if someone has an std? Oh shit wrong sub-reddit."

"Why cant you watch TV in Afghanistan? Because of the tele-ban."

"When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet: I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."

"Why couldn't the Dairy Queen have any kids? Because she married Mr. Softy!"

"If im walking around with my arms crossed, there's a 90% chance im not mad...Im just probably not wearing a bra"

"Housekeeper >I am a wonderful housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house."