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Joke of the Day

"Two Flies Two flies were sitting on a turd. One of the flies farts. The other fly looks at him and says, ""Hey! Do you mind? I'm trying to eat here."""

"TIL that vaccines contain a small amount of mercury, a chemical component that leads to autism. -Idiotic Soccer Mom, 2k16"

"How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? One. We are efficient and don't have humor."

"Imagine how hard it is to be homeless and gay.. You wouldn't even have a closet to come out of."

"Black Friday Matters!! No, all Fridays matter."

"That awesome moment when you comment and get more likes than a person who has tried to insult you in their status. Priceless."

"What do you call 13 dwarves and a hobbit inside a mountain? A *smaugasbord*."

"My friend told me I didnthave the confidence to farm rocks. You should have seen the look on his face when I grew boulder."

"9/10 people said they enjoyed gang rape"

"What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Michael Phelps CAN finish a race!"