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Joke of the Day
"Black Friday Matters!! No, all Fridays matter."
Next Joke
"A guy was playing a guitar... ..got arrested for fingering A-minor"
"So I just saw the music video for Radioactive, and if you think fighting stuffed animals is weird... ...Imagine Dragons."
"And in the news today, Justin Bieber has yet to be shot in a drive by. . ."
"Pot has never been proven harmful to humans, but the way it makes those huge holes in the street has to give you pause."
"What's a shy and retiring accountant? An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring."
"Hi, Id like to buy a Nutri-Bullet, pls. Salesperson: Ah, nice. Off on a cleanse or health kick? Yes. *imagines drinking lasagna* For sure."
"What do a walrus and tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal"
"I don't like Haikus; But I like ironic twists I am conflicted"
"""Arise! Arise! Foul creatures, I command that you arise! ARISE!"" ""Dad, just once, couldn't you let mom or the alarm clock wake us?"" ""ARISE!"""