115463

Joke of the Day

"I don't know when but there was a moment in my life when food changed from friend to lover."

"A few months ago I got a haircut I didn't like... ...but since then, it's grown on me."

"*Sees ant carrying a leaf that weighs 3x its body weight* Wife: Can you imagine being that strong? Me: *Picking up leaf* Yes."

"Why was the man so down in the mouth? Because he ate his pillow."

"Witch: Doctor I can't help pulling ugly faces. Doctor: Well there's nothing terrible about that. Witch: It is when the people with ugly faces don't like them being pulled."

"Obama and Putin are fighting over a phone charger. You might even say they're in a power struggle."

"4 dead in office shooting Boss: ""looks like they're fired"" Secretary: ""No sir, they were fired at"""

"Joke of the Day [Saw this on Monsters Inc when watching it today](http://i.imgur.com/32l1PsS.jpg)"

"Looking for rich sugardaddy to support me so I can support my boyfriend so he can tweet more. *thoughtful romantic tweet*"

"""Fraud"" Our teacher put an ugly dried up amphibian specimen on the lab table and asked: So. Is it a FROG or a TOAD? Murph: It is a ""FRAUD""."