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Joke of the Day

"If I do get murdered in this motel, will someone please deduct a star from my review over on Yelp? Thanks."

"What do you call a bra? A boobie trap. Thanks 3rd grade nephew."

"What's black and never works? Decaf coffee"

"What is the cruelest thing you can do to a blind person? 'Caution- Hot surface' in braille."

"Pavlov's bell, but it's me reading an email that I think says winebar when it's actually webinar."

"Mum: Why hasn't ________? been around lately? I thought you were good friends? Me: Because he turned into a cunt."

"Did you hear about the blackout? Don't worry, they caught him."

"I am not paying for a full year membership at the Y when I only need the pool long enough to hold one hamster Viking funeral."

"Why did the hipster decide to drown himself in the tributary? He didn't want to be mainstream."

"There are two fish in a tank, one says to the other ""do you know how to drive this thing"""