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Joke of the Day

"Mum: Why hasn't ________? been around lately? I thought you were good friends? Me: Because he turned into a cunt."

"Have you heard about the corduroy pillow? It's making headlines!"

"They say pizza is like sex... Even when it's bad you can still put your dick in it."

"I sext my foreign girlfriend a lot. I've come to find it's very difficult to say I'm stroking my cock in French; Although really I should just wait till class is over."

"i wonder if fewer people would eat Rabbit Stew if it was instead called Bunny Rabbit Stew."

"How much space does fungi need to grow? As mushroom as possible :)"

"What do you call Charlie Sheen's brother if he were a financial advisor? Emilio Investevez. Fun game/running joke friends in college used to play. Wondering if Reddit would enjoy the game too."

"WIFE: Where's the dog? *flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside."

"If Donald Trump becomes president we will have toupee more taxes."

"Why do ants get sick? Because they have little anty bodies."