114847

Joke of the Day

"Had a dream that someone was gently rubbing my forehead with sandpaper. Woke up to find my cat gently rubbing my forehead with sandpaper."

"My wife has the cutest crow's feet. And the strongest little crow beak. My wife is a crow. Her name is Leah."

"My first time having sex was like my first time riding a bike My dad was holding me from behind ."

"I was cooking a dish with onions in it and my friend cried. I only now realized recently that she wasn't raising that dog for food."

"Time for a limerick... On the first date with her new man, Keith Young Pamela let out a queef. He tried to ignore That she's surely a whore But at least her bjs had no teeth!"

"Me: How was the party last night? 17: It was fun. The cops came. Me: What??? 17: Nah, it's cool. We got away. Me: That's my girl."

"What happens if you play a country song backward? You get your house back, your dog back, your wife back, and you sober up."

"I found out someone's been impersonating me... Well two can play at that game."

"My Uncle said this now that there are two popes Two popes walk into a bar with Yankee caps on. The bartender says, ""Didn't you guys use to be Cardinals?"""

"The Flash was caught high... He seemed to have taken speed."